Winning isn’t comfortable.

I am the type of person who likes routine. I like knowing what each day is going to bring and it gives me a sense of comfort to have a ritual that I partake in daily. It keeps me healthy. It keeps me sane, really! I wake up at the same time every day, make coffee, check my emails, read a little to get my mind working, pray, do yoga, and then get in my workout. 90% of the time this is what my morning consists of. I have built these habits for my physical, mental, and spiritual health. When I don’t start my day this way, it effects the rest of my day, and usually not exactly in a positive way.

If it were up to me, most of my life would be scheduled and operate on autopilot pretty much. I don’t like change. I don’t like spontaneity. It just isn’t in my nature. BUT, I have learned to adapt and not completely freak out when things get out of my control. And make no mistake, that’t what the bottom line is; control. I don’t like feeling not in control. It’s scary, uncomfortable, and overwhelming. Reality is however, I can’t control anything really. It’s just a manifestation and something far bigger than me is calling all the shots. That’s a thought for a different day though.

Starting this coaching business has been highly uncomfortable at times. I’m still learning and getting the hang of technological issues, suffer from impostor syndrome, and am panicked to pull the trigger and take on clients. But I read something the other day that really stuck with me and was the inspiration to this writing. Winning isn’t comfortable. Let that sink in. Embracing discomfort is part of the growth process, and it’s in those challenging moments that we discover our true potential. Each step I take, even when it feels daunting, brings me closer to the success I envision for my coaching business.

I want to constantly be growing and evolving as a person. The truth is that in order to do that, I have to leave my comfort zone. Especially when it comes to my business and the passion I have to help other women succeed in their health and wellness endeavors. Just like in our fitness and nutrition journey we have good days and bad days, but its how quickly we recover from those bad days that makes all the difference in the world. I will have hiccups and obstacles to overcome as I venture into my accountability coaching adventure, but I know when it gets uncomfortable, that’s when I learn and grow the most.

To sum it up, embracing discomfort is essential for personal and professional growth. Acknowledging that the journey may not always be easy allows us to confront challenges head-on and develop resilience. By pushing through the unease and uncertainties, we not only enhance our capabilities but also gain valuable insights about ourselves and our potential. As I continue to navigate this path, I am committed to seeking out opportunities for growth, knowing that each uncomfortable moment is a stepping stone toward achieving my goals and aspirations.

Remember your “WHY”.

I’ve written before about motivation being fleeting. There are days we wake up and don’t want to workout. There are days when we don’t want to make the healthier food choice. It’s just inevitable that these moments will flare up. It’s only a matter of when. How you cope when the motivation is non-existent is where the discipline you’ve built comes in. A huge part of that discipline requires that you remember why you started on a health and fitness journey to begin with.

On our low-motivation days, it is crucial to reconnect with your “why”. Reflect back on what prompted you to embark on this journey. Are you shooting for better health, more energy to play with your kiddos, or the confidence that comes from feeling strong and capable? Whatever your reason, keep it at the forefront of your mind. A compelling “why” can drive you to take action, even when our enthusiasm wanes. And enthusiasm WILL wane.

Maybe a full workout feels overwhelming, break it down. Commit to 15 minutes and see what happens. Just get your shoes on and get moving—whether it’s a quick walk around your block or a few bodyweight exercises. More often than not, once you start, you’ll find that momentum builds, and you may actually end up feeling motivated to do even more. And if not? That’s perfectly okay too. Celebrate the fact that you showed up and honored your commitment to yourself. Remember, small steps matter and add up over time.

Snacking.

I am 100% guilty of being a snacker. A late evening snacker at that. I know, I know, stop judging me okay!! All joking aside, this is a topic that is near and dear to my heart simply because it IS something I struggle with and have to hold myself accountable to on a routine basis. No, I am not perfect. FAR from it. However, I have picked up a few tricks along the way that have helped me to curb this habit, most days.

The first one may seem obvious, but hear me out. Are you getting enough protein through out the day? Most women are subconsciously lacking in this macro even though they may think they are consuming adequate amounts. You should be aiming for 0.8g to 1g of protein per pound of your ideal body weight. So, for example, if my target weight is 125 lbs, I should be aiming to eat 125g of protein daily, ESPECIALLY if I am strength training in any capacity. That probably seems like a very high number to many of you and it has been my experience that majority of my clients are actually only consuming 60g to 75g of protein on a good day. So, my suggestion is to actually track your protein intake for 3-4 days and see how much you are truly ingesting. If I find myself low at the end of the day in this area, I tend to snack. However, if I make the choice to have a protein shake instead of 8 snacks, this usually takes care of the issue and I find myself full and not going to bed hungry or regretting my pre-bedtime choices.

The next tip I use is to make sure I am eating meals during the day. This usually involves me having to do some meal prep or strategic grocery shopping because I will always reach for whatever is quick and easy as my days are usually busy and fast-paced. A protein bar is not a meal FYI. I try to have a high protein meal as this keeps me fuller for longer and makes me less likely to need a late afternoon snack. For example, if I meal prep I will have a 5oz piece of chicken breast, baked sweet potato, and steamed broccoli. If I did not take, or have, the time to meal prep I will opt for a turkey sandwich, fruit, and sliced veggies. I keep it simple. Simple equals convenience for me. The less I have to think about what I am going to eat, the more successful I am in making healthy choices.

Lastly, and this may seem odd and/or random, but after you eat your last meal of the day, brush your teeth. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m serious, try it! Brushing your teeth is a well-established habit that has become deeply ingrained over the years. When you do it, your brain gets the signal: “I’ve brushed my teeth, so I’m done eating.” Your brain recognizes this routine, associating evening teeth brushing with sleep and a fast. It communicates this to your body and mind, signaling that mealtime is over for the day. As a result, cravings, internal food chatter (that tiny voice in your head urging you to eat more), and false hunger cues will all diminish over time. This isn’t a magic wand solution, but it is certainly worth trying to see if it aids in your late night cravings for your favorite snacks.

We are all going to succumb to those snacking urges from time to time, and that’s okay. There is no shame in falling prey to this overwhelming urge as long as you aren’t making it a habit. It is important to maintain a healthy relationship with food and never to shame ourselves for the food choices that we make. Just try and keep these tips in mind when you are faced with the snacking bug. If you choose the snack, own it and move on. Both are acceptable and right choices depending on the moment.

Living for you.

Life is hard. There is no way around it, we just have to live it and roll with the punches. Something I have been thinking a lot about lately though, and thought other women can probably relate to, is losing ourselves along the way. At some point we can inadvertently start living for other people. It may have started in childhood for many, growing up too quickly in order to care for a parent or needing to parent our parent because of their emotional instability. It may have happened when we got married and became the “other half” to someone. For some, maybe it was when you became a mother and were now responsible for keeping a tiny human alive. I think when we start being responsible for and deeply caring about other people on a regular basis, it can become easy to lose who we are as individuals. It’s almost like we wake up one day and realize we have been neglecting to tend to our own well-being in the process of taking on others’.

For me personally, this realization really hit me when my daughter left for college. My two sons are 16 and 12. Needless to say, they don’t need mommy to stare at them 24/7 anymore. I’ve been a stay at home mom for the last 9 years. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Now what? I also just graduated college after going online for the last 4 years and I think to myself, it’s time. It’s time to rediscover who I am. I am not the woman I was 10 years ago. I am more than a wife and mom. You see, I have to be in order to find the joy and happiness that resides within my own soul and not just by serving others. My value and life direction can not come from other people that I love.

So, here is to taking the first steps on a new journey. One of self-discovery and self-preservation really. It’s time to live for me. It sounds selfish when I read it or speak it in my head, but I have come to realize that if I am not tending to my own needs, I can’t sufficiently help others with theirs. I have to build my own life and also take part in the lives of others. I can’t revolve my life, or lack there of, around other people all of the time. It caused me to reach a severe breaking point before I realized this, to be quite honest. I don’t want any other woman to have to come to this realization as harshly as I did.

If you have lost yourself, it’s not too late. You can find who you are now and build up from there. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, good for you! You have found a balance in your life and that’s amazing. I hope to some day know with certainty who Tawny is again and I have full faith I am on my way to her now.

Planning for your obstacles.

No one likes it when life doesn’t go as planned. We all have times when the outcome of an event doesn’t play out as we anticipated, or the day got chaotic, and we simply could not fit everything in as we had originally wanted to. The difference-maker in all of this is how we react when the plan goes out the window. We can choose to let it ruin our tomorrow or we can learn from what this day brought us.

         When most of us think of planning, we think of something we do ahead of time to prepare for something important or schedule oriented. Many people follow a workout plan, a nutrition plan, or both. What most of us don’t plan for is obstacles that will inevitably arise while we are attempting to follow the preset plan. That’s where the magic happens; when we strategize ahead of time for what we are going to do when we stray from the plan.

         No one can control everything; trust me I’ve tried! Personally, when I feel powerless, I also tend to feel lost and like I have no definitive direction. There IS a solution to not reacting this way however and it took me a long time to put it into action in my own life, but once I did, I knew I needed to share it with others. The only thing we DO ever have control over, is our reaction to an action that has taken place. For example, if I miss my morning workout because I overslept, I don’t have to say ‘screw it’ and not work out that day. I can plan for this type of event and store the solution in my arsenal of how to conquer obstacles BEFORE they ever occur. I know that if I miss my morning workout that my back-up plan is to train after dinner. I know to limit my food consumption at this meal so that I don’t overeat and talk myself out of it and I accept ahead of time that my workout will more than likely not be as long or effective, but I keep the promise to myself that I WILL get some type of movement in.

         By planning for obstacles before they rear their ugly head, we give ourselves a fighting chance to still succeed in a task, but in a different way. We learn not to throw in the towel and call it a loss, but instead we pivot and continue forward with new momentum. If we can learn the skill of change and adaptation, we can truly be prepared to combat any excuse our brain can drill up.

Training with an injury?

Recently I was faced with the choice of whether I should or should not train with what I self-diagnosed as a cosmetic injury. SELF-diagnosed being the key words here. What I thought was a simple bruise and scrape after falling on my knee at the tide pools, turned out to not be so simple. Well, in hindsight it may have been, but I made the choice to train with the outward injury, which quickly turned into an internal one. Oops? The worst part is, I knew better. My instinct told me not to train legs at all, but my inner drive told me to just go lighter than usual. Should have followed my gut on this one, and many others tbh, but that’s a whole other post.

So, when do we push through pain and choose to train and when do we focus on healing? If you are anything like me your training is just as beneficial to your mental health as it is to your physical. Some days even more. This is where the true dilemma comes into play for me. After learning the hard way that training through serious pain wasn’t the right thing to do even for my mental energy, this is what I learned.

If you would caution someone else not to train with their injury, you should listen to your own advice. If the doctor tells you that you can only do “toe taps”, that doesn’t mean deadlift. If your form is off in a way that your body is screaming something is wrong, it’s begging you to stop. When in doubt, skip the day and reassess tomorrow,

The bottom line is this. You only put yourself out of commission even longer when you ignore a significant injury. You only have yourself to blame when you think of ways around the doctor’s orders. I discovered other ways to channel my anxiety and ultimately added more tools to my toolbox. I killed my upper body and ab days. There are days, weeks, and months that sometimes the body NEEDS to repair itself and that’s okay. You will be stronger both physically and mentally if your learn to recognize when that’s the case and be content to let it do just that.

Building resilience.

It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

Don’t worry about sounding professional. Sound like you. There are over 1.5 billion websites out there, but your story is what’s going to separate this one from the rest. If you read the words back and don’t hear your own voice in your head, that’s a good sign you still have more work to do.

Be clear, be confident and don’t overthink it. The beauty of your story is that it’s going to continue to evolve and your site can evolve with it. Your goal should be to make it feel right for right now. Later will take care of itself. It always does.

Just Do It?

Really Nike? So simple, but so damn hard most days. Just keeping it real guys. If we could all live and follow this simple phrase the world would be a vastly different place. In reality, there are days that putting my feet on the floor in the morning takes a force of nature to accomplish. I know I can’t be alone in that.

When I was deep in my alcoholism, my husband would ask me why can’t you stop? Just do it. The gorgeous twenty-something IG fitness influencer gives me all these useful, and usually overly complex exercises, and tells me to go give them a try! Just do it!! Girl, I would break something, and at my age…I won’t ever be the same. While it’s catchy and motivating to some, it also has the capacity to make it seem like those of us who can’t “Just Do It” are lazy, lack discipline, or don’t want to take the intiative to do it.

In my world, sometimes the “it” is too much. Sometimes I have to break the “it” down in baby steps. Take for example the name of this page, Just Get Your Shoes On. This thought sparked a fire in my soul one day and why I am writing this for others to hopefully resonate with today. I NEED my morning work out. It sets the stage for the rest of my day and without it the trickle effect is tangible. I enjoy my workouts! The dopamine hit, the mental clarity, the time alone building strength with just me and the sound of my own playlist are all things I crave. That being said, straight up, there are days when I just don’t want to do it and I make excuses not to.

The first step to getting to the gym and out of my head, is to put my shoes on. Plain and simple. That’s how I keep the commitment to myself and when the discipline kicks in. Then the ball is rolling and I can take the next baby steps like get my airpods, fill my water bottle, put my hair up, you get the idea. But “Just Do It” doesn’t work for me. It’s too broad and overwhelming some days. Most days, in this anxiety-driven head of mine to be quite honest.

So I keep it simple and I would politely suggest that you do too. Be specific. Be intentional. Take small steps that stack up to a journey. Even if that journey it simply to the living room. Break “IT” down and make it work on your terms without feeling like a failure. We all have good and bad days and any type of movement or healthy habit, big or small, can make a difference in our attitude and outlook. You have the resilience and determination to make “It” happen on your own terms. And if you need a little accountability to help you find it, I know a girl who can help with that.

Promises start with you.

If you are anything like me, you are a lot of things to a lot of different people. Maybe you’re a mom, a wife, a maid, a short-order cook, an employee, a best friend…the list goes on, but you get the gist. Amid orchestrating all the chaos, I often find myself making promises. Some are big. Some are small. ALL of them are important, especially to the person I made it to. I promise my daughter to help her with that college application after dinner. I promise my son we will go for a bike ride after school. I promise my husband to pay the phone bill when I finish folding the laundry. I even promise my dogs that I will take them for a walk!! And ya know what? I keep every. single. one.

When I woke up this morning, I promised myself I was going to squeeze in a workout. It didn’t matter when or how long it ended up being, just that I would get it done. It’s 10 o’clock at night and this is the one promise of the day that didn’t get kept. That’s because again, if you’re anything like me, my needs tend to come in last. Not because they aren’t important, simply because somewhere along the line they became negotiable. My promises to myself became the only ones I allow myself to break. Why? I mean c’mon now, I keep the promises I make to my dogs but not the ones I make to ME??!

Big picture. That promise I made to workout at some point in my day was a commitment to my mental health more than my physical. It was a promise to channel my anxiety, addictive behaviors, and pent-up emotions into lifting heavy shit. That workout is what would make me a nicer, more present, and most importantly re-charged version of myself. It was a promise that meant more than any of the others because when I get my workout in, I am free. For 45 mins in my gym, with my choice of music, and my shoes with a pop of hot pink on them it’s only about me and what my body and mind are capable of. And THAT is a promise worth keeping. THAT is a promise that NEEDS keeping. THAT is a promise that helps me in the habit of keeping promises to the people I love.

My day started with a promise to myself and ended with a broken promise to myself. Which made me feel bad about ME even though everyone else was happy with me because I kept my word to them. The promises we make to ourselves matter. They matter the most in my opinion. I missed that work out and missed out on the opportunity to go to bed feeling GOOD about myself and the day as a whole. I missed that work out and I got short-tempered and snappy when I was keeping my promises to everyone else. I wasn’t the best version of myself. I wasn’t the best version of myself because I broke the most important promise I made all day. Keeping our word and making promises MEANINGFUL and more than just another word, starts by staying consistent to the ones we make to ourselves. The promises we make and KEEP to ourselves are the foundation of what our promises to others are built on. That work out is the foundation of my recovery and health. Tomorrow, I am not going to make promises to anyone else. l will focus on my one promise to me and remember that if I can’t do that, if I can’t take care of me, then it’s only a matter of time before I stop keeping promises to those around me. The promises we make others start with the promises we make ourselves..

One shoe at a time.

Have you ever tried to put both of your shoes on at the same time? If you live where sandals are a year-round accessory like I do in Arizona, then maybe you have been successful at this feat! On at least one occasion, I have found myself face-first on the floor however. Laying there in my shame, I found myself asking how the hell did that happen? The answer is simple of course: I’m clumsy, in a hurry, not paying attention, blah, blah, blah. The not so obvious part though is that there were a multitude of steps that led to the eventual stumble and crash.

Operating on auto-pilot is something I often find myself very guilty of. As a recovering addict, it’s also a dangerous way for me to navigate my days. My last drop of alcohol was on April 15, 2016. Thank you. That’s one of my biggest and proudest accomplishments. Let me also say for the record, I am NOT ashamed or embarrassed to call myself an addict. And make NO mistake about it, I am still an addict. You see ladies, I have the AMAZING talent of redirecting my addictive behaviors to anything I put my mind to!! Thank you again. It’s truly a sight to behold. These days I choose to channel that into writing, fitness, and nutrition. I choose addictions that nurture me as opposed to destroy me from the inside out physically, mentally, and emotionally. And just like the story of not taking the time to put my shoes on one at a time, something as simple as that, can land me face down in the gutter if I’m not paying attention.

This is precisely why accountability is paramount in my life. I purposefully have to stick to a routine of eating proper fuel for my body, maintaining daily movement, and practicing mindfulness in some shape/form, or I kick into the auto-pilot mode and stop paying attention. While I’m getting lost in my brain, I lose focus. When that happens, my addiction wins and gets to choose what unhealthy form it wants to take on instead. Mwah-hahaha!!

I have spent years of my life watching and analyzing the cycle. Discipline and accountability keep me sober. Discipline and accountability keep me channeling those addictive behaviors into positives. Motivation not so much, but that’s a thought for another week. The point of all THIS rambling however, is to express that it only takes me one fall, and a lot of steps I wasn’t being attentive to along the way, to end up at rock bottom. It takes me not slowing down enough to put one damn shoe on at a time.

Maybe you can relate to being an addict. Maybe you can’t. One thing I think we all can find we have in common though, is the desire to be the best versions of ourselves today. For me, that doesn’t look the same every day and I’m okay with that. However, I hold myself accountable to do the things that I KNOW help me to be the woman I aspire to be. I challenge you to do the same. Don’t engage auto-pilot. Be present. Get your shit done. You know it’s going to be worth it.